This poster hung in my friend’s room in college. I had something similar in sepia.  Images calling us to love . . . reminding us of love . . . encouraging us to love.

Falling in love is a tremendous experience, one that shapes us and changes us.

I have fallen in love three times.   The third time was the charm, I am deeply in love with Andrew and am so grateful that he is my life partner, and the one I get to adventure with.  I am also grateful for what I learned about love from those two other relationships.

Andrew has never met either of them, though I wish he could . . . for those two boys respected me and loved me and taught me and being in relationship with them deepened me.

The first time I fell in love I was sixteen and in high school . . .

My high school boyfriend was a Christian and he introduced me to faith and God and an entirely new perspective on life and its meaning.

In college I fell in love with the boy who played Arthur Dimmesdale to my Hester Prynne in The Scarlet Letter.  One of my friends referred to him as “the alternative guy.”  He had a poet’s heart and loved language in a way that inspired me.


My hope was always that I would remain friends with my exes . . . that was not to be.

But for my 40th, after dialoging with Andrew and contemplating what was left to be said, I decided I wanted to write both of these guys and thank them.  I am grateful for how my life shifted because of being in love.  I am so grateful that my story includes these two.  I want them to know that what I hold on to at the end of the day is gratitude.

So I wrote them.  Each received a short note.

I surprisingly did hear back from one of them.

So I am grateful for what was.

And am eternally grateful for love number three . . . a man of faith and depth and greatness.

No more posters needed.  I have found deep and everlasting love.