Maybe I should stop struggling to create peace inside my own confused and buzzing self, with its huge, irresolvable contradictions of faith and faithlessness, hope and despair, flashes of joy and pain.

Maybe instead I should simply let God’s companionable quietness suck all the turmoil out

Maybe I am supposed to lie back in God’s arms, chattering to God like a child instead of pretending to be the grown-up I know in my heart I’m not.